Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Hiati

No, that doesn't say Haiti. It says hiati, my plural of hiatus. Is it the real plural? I don't particularly care. The point is that I've taken several from this blog, and that several folks have expressed their desire that I cease and desist.

I am nothing if not accommodating.

The last month and a half has seen a lot of ups and downs for me, personally and politically. I am currently in a bit of an up, thanks to a much-needed Day of Alonement today. Yes, this will be the entry that keeps you guessing about typos. That wasn't one either; it really does say Alonement. After a morning spent with people doing things, I took the afternoon and evening off from interactions, spending them instead with Jon Stewart, Maxwell Smart, Buffy Summers, and Hannah Arendt. One of these people is not like the others; I'll leave it to y'all to decide who fits that bill.


Over the course of my blogging hiatus I have planned many posts that never came to fruition. Manifestos of various sorts, vicious indictments of behavior I consider inhuman and unacceptable, musings on the people one meets around this crazy city—all of these have been candidates for internet publication, but have been rejected as too much trouble or too specific to share in public. Instead of these, I have settled upon a somewhat rambling and extended act of navel-gazing, airing my dirty lintry in public, as it were.

The neologisms are coming thick and fast here, folks; watch out!

So, we begin. Last night I dreamt that an elderly white woman who was pushing a black baby in a stroller slapped my mother across the face for saying racist things about her baby. My primary emotion? Pleasure at how clearly my dream mom enunciated her (utterly unlikely) bigotry. I listened to "Superboy and the Invisible Girl" from Next to Normal tonight, and wept uncontrollably at the mother's line "I love you as much as I can."

Each passing day brings me closer to my next cross-country transplantation. Every day I'm happier that I'm going to end up in New York and sadder that I won't be in LA. At this particular point in my life, I can't imagine being 3,000 miles from either of those metropoleis (yes, that's the Greek plural. What of it?), but I know that's how geography works. I have expanded enormously here (not literally), and I am afraid of contracting to fit into a previously constructed idea of self when I go back east, but I miss desperately my east coast family.

My family is enormous. I was thinking today about weddings, and about the people who get invited to them. I have family from summercamp, high school, college, grad school, and various other places/times/milieux, and that's not counting my "real" family. Many of whom (everyone on my father's side?) are far less a part of my life than those who are "just friends." I could have a much bigger wedding than I would ever want to have, even if nobody else got to invite any guests. Assuming, of course, that I (A) want to get married and (B) am legally allowed to do so. I think it's worth it just to sample the possible cakes, so I'll probably keep working on accomplishing (B) for now.

I intended to keep going for quite some time, exposing various corners of my psyche to the harsh light of the internet, but I find that I would prefer to get a few hours of sleep. I will try to keep this up more regularly, for my own sake as well as for my beloved readers' various sakes, but if I fall off the wagon, just caulk it and float it across.

1 comment:

Adam G said...

Yay for posting! Boo for hiations!