Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Mood swings

This past weekend I attended the wedding of my first friend in the world, and I performed the wedding ceremony of my best friend for nearly two decades. It was a pretty magical, if hectic, weekend. I think they both found amazing life partners who have become my friends in their own right.

Today I heard that Grandma's cancer has taken a turn for the worse.

I'm not sure I can handle another death yet. Am I allowed to say that? It's been less than two years since Mom died. I don't want to lose her mom, the matriarch of my family for as long as I can remember. I don't know how to handle that.

I know self-pity isn't useful or justified, but couldn't I have had two days of happy after the weddings? Maybe I'm overreacting; maybe things aren't as bad as they sound. But they sound bad.

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