I am hereby announcing my candidacy. Not for the Republican presidential nomination, but for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy!
Like Newt Gingrich's, my announcement is perhaps somewhat premature; today I turned in my last paper for my incomplete seminar, which must be graded and reported to the various administrative authorities before the official form can be signed. However, the part of this that is up to me is officially over, and I rejoice in my newfound liberty!
I have decided to celebrate with a stuffy nose and a headache. If this celebration turns out not to be properly cheerful, I may adjust to painkillers and tea, followed by pub trivia and booze. I think the latter will do nicely.